Lemmons doesn't know about this, and the FDA does, so if you purchase something, and then you wear it, and then the FDA pulls up outside your house in dragsters, you might have to wish a clown.
DECOY T-ShirtProbably you will help Lemmons by wearing this shirt, because it will help to confuse pursuers. You may need to disguise yourself as a decoy for your own reasons. This happens sometimes.
$20.00
I can't see you so well, but that's okay. Prob'ly you're a decoy, see? And it's sneaky-time and you're hiding. That's okay. Go hide.
$19.03
"Matchess" the owl is only a decoy owl but she scares away the other owls, so you won't be prey when you wear it but everyone else will be.
$25.00
Do I need to explain the need for these things? If this shirt saves just ONE life, it will all be worth it.
$19.00
Maybe you left a sandwich on the bench and you're walking away, and maybe nobody but you could possibly use that sandwich. DECOY OWL!
$26.00
Dribble and Spittle bibThere is only one way to thwart the spittle. You can pretend you see a toddler, and then before you know it, spit happens!
$7.00
You're not gonna get fat messin' with TODDLERS! I know this to be true... Maumau used to say, that if you can put a shirt on a toddler, you can then go do something else, but what does she mean?
$13.00
DECOY SaddlebagYou may be afraid to take your real saddlebag. That's understandable. Sure. But this can be a DECOY for you. You can still put fruit in it.
$22.00
OWL ApronLemmons went "downriver" in spite of the scary owls, and everyone knows this: To an owl, "You Are Prey." What else can you do but go make a casserole? If you splash a little, no one will be the wiser.
$18.00
Shorts exactly like boxer shortsSome people wear pants over them if they get cold or something. You can do that too, because they are made of very thin material.
$15.00
Don't look at these.They might make you sad. Or mad. Or maybe glad, but not likely.
$9.00
Six cards that will cheer you so much!Six! Every one will bring a bright shiny smile to your face or to the face of one who may be wishing a clown. Or a season greeting.
$18.00
Lemmons Personal StickerI like to stick things with it. Like if I hear someone say, "That's a nice thing you made, but it isn't sticky enough," then I run over with a sticker and say, "How's that?" and then I leave.
$4.00
Shiny Little LEM mascot stickerRound, like a lemon. Or a lime, but we won't pay any attention to that. There is a little bit of LEMMONS in this guy, and he's happy to see you.
$3.50
Shiny Sticky Tiger StickerYou know when someone is coming close to you and you don't like it? You know? I do. I'm not saying you can fix that, it's hard to fix, but it's worth a try.
$3.50
